Kink Lovers | devinc.ru //devinc.ru BDSM Blog for Kinky Women & Men Fri, 08 Nov 2019 04:21:34 +0000 en-US hourly 1 //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/files/2019/09/cropped-KinkLovers-favicon-32x32.png Kink Lovers | devinc.ru //devinc.ru 32 32 5775513 Car Fetishes and Kinks: Mechanophilia and More | devinc.ru //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/bdsm-fetishes/car-fetishes-and-kinks-mechanophilia-and-more/ //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/bdsm-fetishes/car-fetishes-and-kinks-mechanophilia-and-more/#respond Mon, 11 Nov 2019 16:00:29 +0000 //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/?p=5643 The automobile is a machine of beauty, a symbol of freedom, an emblem of status, a road to independence. Many men have loved cars passionately, taking pride in tinkering with their engines and polishing their exteriors. There are festivals where you can admire classic cars and events with the latest and rarest super models that make our mouths water.

Women are sometimes drawn to men with cars, so perhaps it’s not surprising that this kind of car love sometimes tips over into love of another kind.

Cars and kink often go hand in hand, and there are multiple fetishes involving cars.

Mechanophilia

This fetish refers to a sexual attraction to planes, trains, and automobiles. Guys who dig their cars THIS much usually prefer the car itself to women. It’s not a prop or an accompaniment to pussy, but the thing itself.

Edward Smith told his story in The Telegraph over ten years ago, shocking the world by proclaiming his promiscuity: he admitted to sex with over 1000 cars. He felt attracted to them for as long as he could recall, had sex with a car the first time at age fifteen, and didn’t feel sexual attraction at all to women or to men.

Men who love cars the way Ed loves cars have relationships with them as well as flings, and feel specific attractions to certain cars—the cars are not interchangeable. It’s mostly guys who report this strange kind of love, but a similar attractions to bridges, walls, and towers is often reported by women.

Car Crash Fetish

There’s some debate over whether the I973 book invented the idea of the fetish for car crashes, or brought them to light. The book itself declared the kink “a new sexuality, born from a perverse technology.” But symphorophilia—arousal at accidents or tragic emergencies—has been around a lot longer. The combination of life and death edging, and the smells of gasoline and automobile upholstery proved a potent combination for some.

Speed Demon

The car fetish is sometimes connected to speed. That symbolism of freedom and independence is there too, with the added kick of adrenaline. Not everyone would risk everything—including their lives, to race cars—and not all race car drivers are in it for the sex. But sometimes those things all meld together.

Car Kink Lite

The car as part of a general sexiness is extremely common. Men’s magazines have long featured busty babes draped over shiny Corvettes. Women often find the same guy more attractive when he’s by his car. This is all tied up in the fact that guys love to tinker with mechanics, and in those cultural symbols of freedom and status as well as in the simple aesthetics—some cars are beautiful, and they complement beautiful men and women.

Most who find cars sexy in this way wouldn’t call it a fetish, but they make good use of the car for kinky fun even so.

The car is an amazing venue for making out, after all, whether inside or on the hood. Use it for role playing a hooker and john or a horny hitchhiker with a furtive roadside blowjob. Wear it as an accessory in an elaborate dress-up game. Use it as a prop for dangerous kinks, like being kidnapped and subjected to your dom captor’s demented erotic imagination. The possibilities are endless.

Do you have a kinky car story to share?

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Why Snooping for Thrills Is Wrong | devinc.ru //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/bdsm-facts/why-snooping-for-thrills-is-wrong/ //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/bdsm-facts/why-snooping-for-thrills-is-wrong/#respond Thu, 07 Nov 2019 16:00:19 +0000 //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/?p=5625 Snooping is a fucked-up kink. It isn’t only a matter of insecurity, or of not trusting your lover. It isn’t only a matter of trying to keep track of where they have been, and what they’ve been thinking. It is all those things, but it’s something beyond that.

Snooping is partially about the thrill of invisibility. It is a kind of voyeurism that is even more fucked up because it’s at the expense of a person who you supposedly love and trust.

Are you snooping on your significant? Did you use a key logger to catch their email password? Did you secretly figure out how to get into their phone? Did you go through all their shit when they were out, asleep, or in the shower? Are you keeping up with their messages at the same time they are? Did you delete incoming messages in order to manipulate their life in a way that cuts them off from people or denies them opportunities?

It’s about the thrill of not getting caught. It’s about jealousy and betrayal. It’s about moving like a rodent in their lives, unseen and undetected to get the scraps of cheese you desire when nobody is looking.

Maybe you get some kind of thrill from reading flirtations they had with other people before (or during the time you dated). Maybe you keep tabs after the breakup, getting sexual thrills, while at the same time being filled with despair as you read about all the fun they’re having without you.

Not all kinks involve consensual behavior. The more unconsensual for some, the kinkier it is because the artifice of the play within the play is gone. There is not mutual admission that the two of you are partaking in an equally shared world of imagination. The game is real, and the stakes are incredibly high.

I definitely do not condone snooping. I think it’s pathetic. If you have so little trust in your partner, and so little confidence in yourself that you need to keep secret tabs on them, believe me, you are in a shitty relationship. If they are cheating, you deserve better. If they aren’t cheating, they deserve better.

That said, I can fathom why the thrill of knowing more about somebody than they can possibly imagine you know would be a thing. Not only is it voyeurism, but it also engenders a feeling of power over the other. In your way you get to play god, and see everything they do. Every conversation has an extra layer of meaning because of the wider knowledge you have about their doings and goings on.

That said, you should be ashamed if snooping is your kink—get some help before you enter into your next relationship.

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Why More Men Are Trying MMF Threesomes | devinc.ru //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/bdsm-dating-tips/why-more-men-are-trying-mmf-threesomes/ //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/bdsm-dating-tips/why-more-men-are-trying-mmf-threesomes/#respond Mon, 04 Nov 2019 16:00:19 +0000 //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/?p=5627 I know, I know, when you hear “threesome” you hear “me and two naked women.”

The FFM is a classic and incredibly common fantasy—and reality—for dudes and us ladies as well. Many women love experimenting sexually with other women, and no one needs to twist your arm to jump into bed with two babes at once.

But the MMF threesome is a very common fantasy too, for both women and men. Kink-loving guys like you might get off on breaking taboos and exploring power dynamics and fetish scenes. Women want to experience domination, submission, double penetration, voyeurism, and more from this threesome.

Here are four reasons to try it out.

The MMF is in vogue again, but it’s actually a classic kink.

Recent trends in history mean guys are getting over the macho stigma that involving another dude in bed is somehow not masculine. The MMF has been popular all along—swingers and the wife-swapping has involved MMFs and MFMFs and much more for eons.

The MMF threesome is the tastiest sandwich.

Kinky, creative lovers will find all kinds of ways to make a sexy sandwich using toys, appendages, and a little imagination. But when you’ve got two penises, and you’re sharing a naked lady, you get the elemental double-penetrative experience straight up.

This can be done with doggie-style PIV and penis in mouth, or it can be an actual sandwich with one of you on the bottom, her ass sliding over your cock, and the third party penetrating her vagina.

The MMF is a great set-up for kink and fetishes.

There is an unlimited variety of potential kink and fetish play with two guys and a girl.

Power games can have an amazing dynamic. Dominating a girl-guy couple can be a different experience from anything you’ve tried. If she’s dominant, BDSM play and any kind of goddess worship will double her pleasure!

The MMF threeway makes cuckolding fantasies easy.

The thrill of watching is built in. And if she’s always wanted to be overpowered and ravaged by a man, what about two at once?

And . There are endless scenarios to play out, from the husband-wife-mailman encounter to the seduction of the pizza delivery man to the nurse-doctor-patient routine.

The MMF satisfies her fantasy of having two men.

Some women want their desire for sex with two men to be indulged. Sex should be egalitarian—not in a tit-for-tat way, but in an open-and-giving way that includes trying things that might not be at the top of your list.

Just as women try all kinds of things in order to be generous with your desires, from anal sex to foot-fetish play, guess what? They often find it fun and sexy, or find out something new about themselves. You might to. Try some experiments for nothing but the sake of HER desire, and see where it leads you!

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How to Find a Bull for Your Hotwife | devinc.ru //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/bdsm-fetishes/how-to-find-a-bull-for-your-hot-wife/ //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/bdsm-fetishes/how-to-find-a-bull-for-your-hot-wife/#respond Sat, 02 Nov 2019 19:35:21 +0000 //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/?p=5657 Want to find a bull who will make your cuckolding fantasies come true? Read on for some tips and ideas on how to meet the right man for the job.

Cuckolding couples might think it’s easy to find a guy happy to sleep with a hotwife. While it’s true that many men will be into this arrangement in theory, making the right connection can be a bit trickier than it sounds. But no need to make things complicated. Let me break it down for you with some suggestions that will make the search for your bull both effective and fun.

Before the Bull Hunting Begins

Get clear on your cuckolding desires

Make sure both cuck and hotwife are on the same page before moving any closer to the reality of a cuckold arrangement. Talk about the fantasy together in a detailed manner, act it out in the bedroom, whisper your deepest desires to each other during some hot mutual masturbation.

Basically, you need to communicate with each other and start to shape a picture of what you want, and WHO you want to bring into your bedroom.

Plan a hotwife arrangement that works for all

Once it’s clear you’re both ready to turn fantasy into reality, it’s time to get practical. Do you want a bull that will be ready and able to humiliate the cuckold verbally? Is there going to be contact between all three of you, or is the cuck just going to watch? Do you want to meet a bull for an ongoing 3-way relationship?

The more details you can envision about a potential couple+bull arrangement are going to save you time later on in your search.

Envision the Bull that’s right for both of you

Your hotwife may have specific ideas about how her bull will look or act. And a cuckold surely has an ideal image for the bull as well. Discuss and fantasize together about details such as your bull’s appearance, his demeanour, how dominant you expect him to be. You may not get everything you want in the end, and that’s okay because some of these things will be superficial. But it gives you both a chance to work out any must-haves, in addition to nice-to-haves, and maybe even some traits that could be deal-breakers for either partner.

Be prepared for a few challenges

If you’ve followed the above advice then you’re now ready to find that bull! But in keeping your expectations realistic, it’s best to prepare yourselves for a few hardships that might arise in your search.

Your fantasy is just that – a fantasy. While you should strive to set up the most ideal scenario you can, it’s important to not get discouraged by challenges. These might include men who see it as a chance to have sex with someone’s wife without actually addressing the full 3-person dynamic, or guys who flake on you or “chicken out” at the last moment. Becca Bellamy’s site has a good that you might want to consult before setting out.

Where to Meet Bulls for Cuckolding Couples

Well, you can probably find a bull anywhere that you can find men who are down for sex. (So, everywhere?) It might happen on a night when you are out dancing together, or at the local gym. But we want to go beyond wishful thinking and random encounters, so let’s focus on strategies that help narrow the field.

Connect with other fetishists at a Munch

A munch isn’t as kinky as it sounds. But what these informal gatherings for people in the BDSM lifestyle offer is an opportunity to talk with others who share your cuckold fetish, or who have different fetishes but can relate. Open-minded people getting together is a good thing, and it’s a great starting point if you want to meet a bull who understands cuckoldry from the outset.

Try a cuckold / hotwife dating site

A lot of cuckold couples prefer to take their search for a bull online, and with good reason. With dating sites dedicated to hooking up like-minded people, and large communities of kinksters eager to connect, it’s pretty much the go-to method for finding a bull.

The following are sites that I recommend for this pursuit. What you want to look for when choosing a hotwife dating site is a very large database of members so you aren’t too limited, the option to create a couples profile, and a site that not only tolerates your kink, but embraces it.

CouplesDating.com
Couples Dating is heaven on earth for cuckold couples and threesome seekers. People can join as couples or singles, and things can get very heated inside. Full nudity is on display and the features get fancy with video chat and more. I’ve noticed that the desktop version has more features available than on mobile, but either way it’s easy to get in touch with local men. I recommend putting your cuckold status in your profile title or somewhere prominent to make it easy for the bulls to find you directly.

FetishHookups.com
Fetish Hookups is another site with a large member base, but boy does this site skew towards KINKY. So while CouplesDating caters to all sex seekers, Fetish Hookups is a lot more niche and you’ll find a lot of BDSM lovers and fetishists. Dominants, submissives, slaves, cucks, and mistresses abound! Get your fill of naughty chat and discover groups for spanking, foot fetish, strapons, and more. This is not your average dating site!

LocalCuckold.com
The name of this one makes it pretty clear. Local Cuckold is a site for couples and singles who want to find a real hotwife arrangement. While this cuckolding club isn’t as bursting with potential playmates as the other two, it can be a good option depending on your location. It’s smaller size is probably due to the fact that it is more specific, and not quite as full featured as the two above. What I suggest is just creating a basic profile and seeing how many local bulls there are before considering an upgrade.

Find a bull at swinger or fetish clubs

If you don’t want to meet online or in the light of day, perhaps your city’s nightlife can provide the perfect venue. While hotwife hookups can happen anywhere, the best place to party it up with the hope of getting the number of a potential bull is going to be more specific than just any club or bar.

Check your local listings for fetish nights and swinger events. Many cities have swinger clubs that provide ample opportunity to find men interested in becoming your bull. If you are new to this, check out our tips for your first sex club experience. While there are definitely differences between swinging and cuckoldry, it’s still a good starting point due to an overlap of interests.

Are you ready to find a bull that can satisfy your goddess of a hotwife? Do you have any questions or tips you’d like to offer? Let’s talk about it in the comments.

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5 Signs She Might Want to Peg You | devinc.ru //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/bdsm-dating-tips/5-signs-she-might-want-to-peg-you/ //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/bdsm-dating-tips/5-signs-she-might-want-to-peg-you/#respond Thu, 31 Oct 2019 15:00:19 +0000 //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/?p=5635 At least once a week, I playfully threaten to stick a cucumber up my boyfriend’s butt. And then the conversation turns to strap-ons. He goes along with this back-and-forth banter, but I know damn well he’d never let me put something in there.

The thing is, I don’t really want to either. I have very little interest in playing the dom in bed, preferring to be somewhat submissive. I like bondage, blindfolds and sensory games, as well as role playing and dress-up. But, that doesn’t mean it’s not fun to fantasize.

Many of us have fantasies about things we might never try… unless we find the right partner. If your fantasy is to be pegged, how do you know if the woman you’re dating is game?

Here are some obvious, and not-so-obvious signs that she might be into using a strap-on on you!

5 Signs She Might Want to Peg You

  1. She’s on a kinky dating site. If you’re into BDSM, you’re going to waste a lot of time looking for kinky play partners on mainstream dating sites. Sure, women into things are on there, but they’re not going to talk about it in their profiles like they would on a site like BDSMdate.com.
  2. She jokes about pegging. Like I said about myself, I love to tease my guy about sliding a strap-on in him. I don’t think I’ll ever do it, but a small part of me wonders if I really would enjoy it. You can always call her on it by gifting her a dildo and harness set-up.
  3. She is dominant in bed. Maybe you’ve only hooked up twice, but both times she’s engaged in some dom-like behavior. She’s pulled your hair, spanked you, or showed you her handcuffs. This type of play may only be the tip of the iceberg.
  4. She loves dominatrix-themed porn. A lot of women aren’t going to admit to the type of porn that really turns them on, or even that they watch porn at all. But if she does invite you into her porn world, or asks you to watch porn together, she may be giving you a not-so-subtle hint about what she wants to try.
  5. She pulls out the strap-on. Kaboom! A brave woman may just surprise you, and pull out her toys early on in a relationship if she doesn’t want to beat around the bush. You will either be thrilled or terrified, depending on your own fantasies. But don’t be shy—ask her what she wants to do before you run.

Do you fantasize about being pegged? Let us know in the comments!

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Domination-Submission Games for Kinky Couples | devinc.ru //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/bdsm-dating-tips/domination-submission-games-for-kinky-couples/ //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/bdsm-dating-tips/domination-submission-games-for-kinky-couples/#respond Mon, 28 Oct 2019 15:00:17 +0000 //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/?p=5623 There are lots of ways to explore domination and submission. If you’re just starting out, or you’re an occasionally kinky couple without a dungeon and props, there are still lots of fun and sexy ways to play.

D/s Games to Get Your Kink On

Goddess Worship

I love to do this with your pants on. You spend the whole night servicing me. You massage me, and perfume me, and adore me. Your dick is busting through your jeans, but too bad—I won’t even touch it. You’re lucky that I’m letting you touch me. You will suck my pussy until you are begging to get in there. You will worship my breasts and thighs and ass. Get your fill now because there’s no guarantee I’ll let you worship me again.

Bondage Boss

I love the sensation of being bound, and helpless to do anything that might resolve my hunger. You can tie me up with handcuffs, leather restraints, Japanese rope knots, or with my pantyhose and silk scarves.

One thing that drives me wild when you’re in control is to be left to my own devices. You leave the room to go about your business—with my hands tied, I’m left naked and aching with desire.

Orgasm Denial

It can be tricky to hold back at the point of no return, but exploring the outer limits of orgasm is an unbelievable high. The submissive can service the master or mistress to the edge of coming to amp up the thrill, or the dom can withhold the orgasm from a sub as punishment.

You can build the plateau of ecstasy in many different ways. Being taken to the brink without going over, then brought right back a few minutes later, again and again, can be so intense and emotional that spontaneous weeping may result.

Cops and Robbers

There are many d/s role plays—boss and secretary, doctor and receptionist, giant football player and Tinkerbell—to explore. Playing a role is hot because you can change it up over and over. You can even play the exact same game, but as a different cat and mouse every time.

Mother, May I

If you are dating someone with different kinks than yours, you can play fun permission games that gradually introduce you both to your different toys, outfits, and tastes.

If you remember this game from the playground, one person says “Mother May I?” and then asks permission to do something arbitrary. You will ask her about a particular toy or technique and she will say, “Yes, you may” or “No, you may not.”

If Mommy is not your thing, call it Mistress, May I? or find some kind of game spinner and make your own rules for what happens when it lands on blue or red or green. Any system of sorts will do, and when you are granted a yes or the dice land on your numbers, you get to pick or demonstrate something, and vice versa.

The best tool you have for fun dom-sub games is your imagination. Experiment whether you are a new or old couple, and be as playful on your silver anniversary as you are as new lovers. There are always more games to play!

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My Kink for Single Mothers | devinc.ru //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/bdsm-stories/my-kink-for-single-mothers/ //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/bdsm-stories/my-kink-for-single-mothers/#respond Thu, 24 Oct 2019 15:00:24 +0000 //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/?p=5592 For a while I had an addiction to relationships with single moms. There are a lot of them out there. Some are doing great, and some are doing terrible, but they all have this one thing in common: the father of their child or children just isn’t there.

There is something about that grand betrayal, and about the kind of contingency and self-reliance it fosters, that can make a woman very sexy.

Women who have yet to have children are often seekers. They don’t know what they want. They are prone to changing their minds, to suffering from wanderlust, and to making their lovers suffer through endless monologues about what the future holds.

Not so with single moms. They know what their immediate future is, and what their priorities need to be. A man in their life occupies a much different place in the hierarchy of importance.

Sex with single moms is different too. One always has to work around the children. They loom over bedroom time, constantly diverting attention, erecting vast logistical ramps that need to be scaled before your Roman lust can breach the high gates of Masada.

Some single moms want to use you for a night, while others want to incorporate you into their lives as a fixture or father figure. Some single moms promise you and the kids are separate issues, but they never are.

I think maybe the fetish stems from a love of challenges and logistics. It’s a little harder to get a single mom to love you, because she is trusting for two. It’s a lot harder to get disentangled from a single mom because you are often breaking more than one heart.

I in no way advocate the notion that one should play with hearts, or break hearts just for fun. This is especially the case when you are dealing with moms and their kids. That said, single moms often have a sense of pragmatism and wisdom that ladies without kids lack. The traumatic act of birth, and the care that must follow naturally changes a person.

Obviously there are married or attached women with kids too, but that is a whole other scenario. That involves either cheating, or cuckolding. Those are well explored fetishes, so I need not get into them here.

I don’t think people are talking much about the single mom fetish, though. It’s a real thing, and it’s a lot sexier than you think to get to know these ladies.

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Damage Control for Your Leaked Sex Tape | devinc.ru //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/bdsm-dating-tips/damage-control-for-your-leaked-sex-tape/ //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/bdsm-dating-tips/damage-control-for-your-leaked-sex-tape/#respond Mon, 21 Oct 2019 15:00:11 +0000 //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/?p=5581 Once I let a man I barely know film himself fucking my ass. In the heat of the moment, it heightened the thrill. But my paramour was a bit of a cad, as I found out after the fact. Even though I asked him to delete the sex tape later, I couldn’t be sure he didn’t already have copies—I worried about it for a long time.

Here’s how you can cope if your porn-star moment found its way into the world, or if it might.

If it’s the worst case scenario, it will still be forgotten.

No matter how bad it is, it will pass eventually. You too can get over the embarrassment that CEOs, celebrities, parents, pastors, and spouses have lived through.

A little perspective. In the scheme of things, will anyone remember you starred in a badly lit dungeon orgy for three minutes on somebody’s iPhone? There are trillions of porn tapes. Once the novelty wears off, and it won’t be long, your fifteen minutes of fame will be forgotten.

Own up to your behavior.

You don’t need to be ashamed or embarrassed about having sex or about your turn ons. But maybe the tape is proof of something you ARE ashamed of and would rather keep on the down low, such as infidelity.

In this case, getting caught just means the truth is catching up with you. It can be painful, but also presents an opportunity. If you were cheating on your wife, say, maybe it’s time to get to the root cause of that if you aren’t satisfied. Maybe it’s time to , so you can come by multiple partners honestly.

There can be many reasons why a sex tape is embarrassing besides you being naked. If you did something wrong, being exposed is a chance to come clean and fix it.

If you aren’t lying, cheating, or stealing—YOU are the victim.

Sex in and of itself is not shameful or embarrassing or wrong. So if anyone tries to slut shame you or kink shame you, the best approach is to hold your head high and point out that your privacy and sexuality have been violated outside of your control.

It can be deeply embarrassing to face your mother or boss when films of you hogtied with a 12-inch dildo in your ass surface, but the guilty party is the one who broke trust by leaking that tape online or whatever the scenario may be.

Protect the women in the film by standing up for them.

We’re all in this together, but consequences of leaked porn tapes can be graver for women. In some cultures where sexual women are perceived as dishonoring their families, their very lives can be in danger. Jealous men can also be a threat if an ex-girlfriend shows up in flagrante delicto.

So be a mensch when the guys at the pub start teasing you about your Debbie Does Dallas. Let them know you’re not embarrassed if they want to see your naked butt, but ask them to respect Debbie’s privacy by not passing the film around. Remind them there are lots of hot consensual porn to see instead.

A man asking men to respect a lady is often all it takes for guys to reconsider their base impulses.

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What to Do when Your Kink Turns Her Off | devinc.ru //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/bdsm-dating-tips/what-to-do-when-your-kink-turns-her-off/ //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/bdsm-dating-tips/what-to-do-when-your-kink-turns-her-off/#respond Thu, 17 Oct 2019 15:00:02 +0000 //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/?p=5589 Some bold people share their kinks on a first hookup, while some never let their kink out of the bag. Most of us, though, fall somewhere in between—we wait until we feel secure enough or that there is the kind of trust needed to confess the kinks we’re into.

When you do reveal your fetish, fantasy, or kink, you often don’t know the kind of response you will get. It’s risky and hopefully rewarding with the right, compatible, partner. But what happens when it’s not? Do you try to work through it or run for the hills, or somewhere in between.

Here are some options to take when she’s not responsive to your kink…

Downplay your kink. Depending how out there your kink is, you may want to tread lightly when revealing. If it’s edgy or even dangerous, bring it up as a subject before telling her it’s yours. This will help gauge her reaction. If it completely grosses her out, you’ll know it’s off the table. If she’s neutral, you can tell her you’re interested and ask if she is too. Just don’t mention your previous experiences with other women if you have them.

Modify your kink. Maybe you love to tie women up, blindfold them, and tease them relentlessly to the brink of orgasm over and over. If you’re current lover is new to BDSM, you may suggest blindfold or bondage separately to ease her into things, gain her trust. This type of modification can be applied to most kinks to create a more welcoming environment.

Enjoy your kink solo. Do you fantasize about transgender women and threesomes, but your girlfriend has no interest? Do you have a foot fetish, but your lover hates anyone touching her feet. It’s rare to find a partner who is going to fulfill your every fantasy or fetish. And that’s what porn is for sometimes—a place where you can watch and enjoy your kinks, and still have hot vanilla sex in your relationship.

Find partners who share your kink. If your BDSM sexual proclivities are extremely important to you, be up front before you get too deep into a relationship that might not survive your big kink reveal. Join a niche dating site for kinksters like BDSMdate.com to find your match. Attend sex workshops and events where you can meet like-minded folks in the kink community.

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So… You’re Tired of Sex | devinc.ru //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/bdsm-facts/what-to-know-when-youre-tired-of-sex/ //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/bdsm-facts/what-to-know-when-youre-tired-of-sex/#respond Mon, 14 Oct 2019 15:00:01 +0000 //devinc.ru/shubogolubov/?p=5579 Those of us who enjoy kinky sex and have a high libido can experience the loss of interest in sex as traumatic.

If you are polyamorous or in a monogamous relationship where sex is a high priority, and you have a repertoire of fetishes and sexual adventures, it can feel really disconnecting or even frightening if desire wanes to little or nothing.

If you find yourself tired of sex, don’t panic. Here’s what you need to know.

It’s normal.

I’m serious. It might FEEL like you have a grave illness, but believe it or not sexual desire naturally ebbs and flows. People who are asexual or who have low desire might be equally surprised and uncomfortable to experience an unexpected surge of horniness. People in the middle will be best equipped to see their peaks and valleys as equally valid. But despite your love of all things sex, you are not a wind-up toy or sex robot.

On the other hand, don’t rule out illness.

Plummeting desire can indicate a health issue or emergency—hormone imbalances, heart disease, circulation problems, diabetes, cancer, and clinical depression are just a few possibilities. If you have other symptoms or sudden unexplained changes, then make sure you see a doctor to rule out medical issues.

You’re tired of the KIND of sex you’re having.

Your go-to thrill can lose its luster after you wear it out. And yes, kinky people can get stuck in a routine. We are imaginative and creative, and kink is a wonderful maze of adventures, but we are also prone to relying too heavily on our “thing” when we have a fetish. If you’ve been bound and whipped every other night for the last five years, you might be sick of the same old same old. It might be time to branch out.

If you’ve explored every kinky avenue and the thrill just isn’t there anymore, the surprise spark might be something sweet and mild—rediscovering the basics. If you have a strong bent for a particular kink, switch things up with another one.

Recharge your batteries.

A period of low desire is nature’s invitation for restoration and renewal. It’s a call to change our pace and to focus on ourselves and other aspects of our lives that get the short end of the stick.

Focus on your relationship, not sex.

If you’re tired of sex and need a break, but are in a relationship, shift the emphasis of your romance to other aspects. Sip wine somewhere dark and cozy and talk until late—catch up on each other’s lives. Do something on your mutual bucket list, and just enjoy each other’s company. Work on the struggles and problems in your relationship.

If you’re not involved with someone, take a break from dating and take care of the other relationships in your life. Spend time with family members or cultivate friendships. Call an old buddy you haven’t seen for years and take a weekend trip. Renew or care for other connections. They’re important too.

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