Just the Tips

Sexting Do’s and Don’ts for Kinky Guys

Woman Texting

Sexting can amp up anticipation, keep you on her mind, or seal the deal. It can also be a disaster that ends up on the evening news.

If you want to make sure your sexts drive her wild instead of driving her away, make good use of these handy tips before you press SEND.

DO start off slow.

Think of sexting the way you think about lovemaking.

Sure, there’s always that scene in the movies where two people lunge at each other and go at it like a thunderstorm, but the film doesn’t show the prelude in her mind.

A woman can be a tempest of passion, but she didn’t go from zero to turned on by nothing. There’s a backstory of some sort. You want to stoke that fire the way you do with foreplay or courtship. Give her imagination a chance to get there on its own.

DO let her think it’s her idea.

This is the single most important factor to successful sexting. By teasing and coaxing gently, being open and suggestive, eventually she’ll want to tell you something racy or graphic, or beg you for more. She’ll wait for the courage to sext it, pacing frantically in a heady state of desire, and a dopamine rush when she hits the magic sendoff button.

Now she thinks she started it. She feels in control. She feels like a seductive vixen instead of hunted prey. Bingo!

DON’T generalize or send fantasies she might not be part of.

It’s a mistake guys commonly make: in hopes of being sexy without getting too specific in case she’s not totally down with it, you might think generic sexy talk is best.

But if she doesn’t think it’s about her, she won’t warm up.

We know you sext other girls, we know you watch hot porn. We do too. But when we’re with you, we are with you.

DON’T take her off guard.

The element of surprise can bring her to the brink of desire, or it can be like a horse fly landing uninvited that she needs to swat away.

You need context before taking her down out of left field.

If I just met you online and you send a dick pic while I’m in the middle of a dull finance meeting with a client, I’m going to think you’re a creep.

DO skip the pics and tell a story instead.

Maybe she sends you saucy selfies to tantalize you with thoughts of skimpy latex bustiers.

Don’t send her a picture of your underwear drawer or dog collar collection.

Women get horned up by putting pictures together from your words.

DON’T go full monty!

Don’t send close ups of your junk. It’s the full package that does it for us, not extreme macro photography of your testicles scrunched up into the phone lens.

In general dick pics are a no—unless she asks for it, skip it.

DON’T assume you’re over the sexting stage.

Here’s the thing—we give sex our all at the start of it. Flowers, fucking before we go out, fondling in the car on the way there, ripping off the clothes when we get back.

We go full throttle on our kinks and fetishes and try them out. We send love notes and thongs and flowers. Then we settle in and on occasion, if we’re lucky, we dust off the red high heels or handcuffs once a year but that’s about it.

Guys, it’s the other way around. A woman you barely know might not want to get your sext just yet. But a woman who has known you in every hole a thousand times may have forgotten what it feels like to have your attention.

I’m not suggesting you skip the fun sexting stage with new dates, but for all of you kinky guys who are in a monogamous relationship, skimming this story because it doesn’t apply to you, YES IT DOES.

You can bring on a few weeks of heady hot stuff just by texting her with a hot shared memory. Let her know that you know you don’t tell her enough how she drives you wild- and she will.

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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